Tick Tock

Clock is ticking, Sun is constantly changing phase and The last exam is coming soon.

After this, it will be FREEDOM!

To all who is currently sitting for SPM examination, Wish All of You The Best!

Seriously.

Seriously. I wonder does people misunderstand me all the time? Gosh. Should i really explain every single detail so that a person can read me?

How many bloody times i need to tell people that i'm not using them or what sort? Can i seriously freaking blast your head? If i used you, how? Can you tell me what i did that makes you assume that i'm using you? Why is it that you people always put your emotions first, huh? Why trying so hard figuring and jotting every single mistakes i have done? Make a history out of that if you please.

I don't even know how to deal with all of this. Perhaps, my real intentions to reconcile with you is impossible already. Since you are misinterpreting every single thing, this minute ones into a much exaggerated deal. You have overlooked the details that was meant to reach you. Instead, you chose the negatives. I never thought you would actually say that about me. Of all people, You. Because you told me not to blog about you, i never did anymore. This is the last. I don't think explanations will get into your head anymore.


For the last time, I do love you. And it never changed.

The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts:

1) To return love for hate;

2) To include the excluded; and

3) To say 'I was wrong.'

- Ernst Heinrich Haeckel

Gosh, i'm seriously craving for soya milk and I-phone!

*Blush*

Rather embarrassed just by reading through my old post. *malunya*

How should i put it?

Childish perhaps?

Certainly nothing to be proud of. Still, i think it emits my character, previous phase of character.


*I'm actually very pious.

My rubber band is off my teeth =D Oh yeah!

Eeks

I'm a bona fide expert in getting myself into trouble. Let me be vain today. Okay, fairly speaking, I think I exude a great 'Good-girl' aura. I'm pretty smug in having that. But don't you think being a problem prone person and goody image totally contradicts?


Let's just say I can totally make people's parent to be deceived by my absolute tactful manner, but, perhaps my clumsy side and free-will changes me. Who doesn't put up a show in front of their parents? Maybe some of you really don't, but surely, majority are good actors/actress. People are able to express themselves more freely without the need to repress with their friends. There are exceptions though.

*Chili did a great job in burning my stomach.

But i seriously wonder, how can people be very pretentious in front of you? They might seem all nice and exuberant and God knows what they do behind  your back. Well, i've been like that before. I used to be a bitch ( don't mind my language, i seriously can't find any other word to describe it.) , mind you , USED TO. There is a point of time where i tried so hard attracting unnecessary attention by putting up a fake facade. Well, not a good experience. But still, when you bitch, you get to know bitches.

But hey, people change. I can't say how much i have changed, but i know myself best. Seriously, you don't want to be those kind of people. Some people just won't grow up. I think you shouldn't judge a person wholly no matter how long you have been friends.You wouldn't know how that would actually hurt a person so much.

*I think i'm allergic to chili and oil. (Gasp!)

I can't say that i make the ultimate ideal friend. I told you. I'm a problem prone. But rest assured as i will not involve anyone. I'll practically run away. I think i have the brains to solve problem but i rather not. So, my only option left is to runaway.

*I seriously felt like breaking glass items.

Also, i'm not an initiator. Never am and never will. Call me coward =) But i don't think it is because of cowardice. I tend to think what will happen if i ask or say something and i'll evaluate all possibilities in my brain before sprouting some nonsense.

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results

Sir Winston Churchill 1874-1965, English statesman

Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own, my own.

-Beyonce

Ouch!

I slammed the car door on my finger!
Ouch!

I never felt such absolute betrayal. What? Not enough? How many do You plan to put me through until i finally truly am alone? Does it make You happy? I don't know whether i should have faith in You.

Blessing

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over."
-- Samuel Johnson 

 Can a person ever find a friendship like mine?

You may, but rather, the peculiarity of my friendship may make you wonder again. Ajay and I both may seem like very intimate 'friends' which often people misunderstand us. But really, i never bothered answering sometimes. As long as i know what he meant to me, it explains every questions. I trust him completely which means i don't interrogate him for everything he does. Also, i don't doubt him at all. I suppose he does the same to me? 

Oh, the best part, we never bicker at all, not even once. We are pretty much playful and hey! we flirt too! Haha, of course we don't fall for each other. It can never happen. It is the absolute trust that makes us immune to each other , therefore , we have stayed being best friends ever since high school. Plus, i really wanted to cherish this friendship of mine , so , i love him as a friend. I tell him everything without thinking. It is like reporting unconsciously. Cheesy =D

Mutual feelings right Jay? 

"A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care to acquire."
- La Rochefoucauld

At least i got something I'm proud of. The best friendship ever. 

Lads and Lasses usually can never build a stable friendship like mine. They tend to fall for each other after noticing how special they can be and so on. I'm pretty smug about this. Heh! 

I hope this lasts. At the very least, i have faith in this friendship. Oh yeah, I've said that if my future husband cheats on me, Jay will be my partner in crime too , if and only if he agrees!

"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
- La Rochefoucauld